Have you ever felt like you are damaged goods? Or maybe you might think “Why am I so different than others?” or “Why don’t I fit in?”. I’ve thought that many times. Sometimes I even think “What’s wrong with me?”
Programming the Subconscious
Well, I’ve done a lot of research into this and realize my upbringing plays a major role. I actually found out that my subconscious was being programmed since the day I was born. Think about that for a second. How many small children touch something hot a second time? They learn the meaning of “hot” quite quickly. Unknowingly, the subconscious developed a “no-touch” response when they are either told something is hot or feel the heat.
Here is another thing the subconscious programmed when you were between the age of 18 months and 3 years. Prior to that age, you were totally dependent on your parents. Now as a toddler, you start freeing yourself from that dependency. So, during this time, how do you think your subconscious was programmed if you were self-shamed, punished or criticized? More than likely it is saying that you are wrong. Your ideas aren’t being accepted. If this continues, your subconscious is being programmed that you are wrong. It is being programmed that you don’t feel accepted and don’t fit in.
Program Running as an Adult
Now as an adult, these programs are running without your conscious awareness. How do I know? Because it happened to me. Now that I am aware of it, I have the ability to redo that program. Is it easy? Heck no. But it is getting better.
My authentic feelings weren’t valued as a child, so why would I think differently now as an adult? That program of feeling that you are wrong and that you weren’t accepted is still running but you aren’t aware of it. And it didn’t change for me until my therapist made me aware of it. It’s a process but now I am slowly dealing with it. At least I’m starting to get a handle on it because I’m not damaged goods.
Unknowingly, I believe I did the same thing to my kids. Since I was criticized as a child, I guess I thought that was the right thing to do. So, with my grandkids, I am very supportive of their ideas.
There is always hope if you are willing to understand your upbringing and slowly make the necessary changes.